TRIGGER WARNING: depression, suicide, self-harm
SPOILER ALERT: Spring Awakening the musical
This is a happy story. I promise. But it’s also a true story, which means that there are icky bits. Bits that we like to pretend don’t really happen to real people. Bits that we ignore until it’s too late. But I was lucky. Those bits never got to me. Not completely.
This is a happy story. I write it now because it makes me happy. But I have to warn you that quite a lot of it is very, very sad.
For a long time I thought of my death as inevitable. Death is inevitable, of course—I guess it’s more accurate to say that my suicide was inevitable. It wasn’t that I wanted to die—that part sounded messy and unpleasant—I wanted to be dead. I wanted to stop existing. To close my eyes and never have to open them, ever again.
I think depression